Everyday Mindfulness: Staying Grounded When People Push Your Buttons

We tend to imagine mindfulness as something calm and quiet — early mornings, deep breaths, maybe a gentle gong in the background. But if I’m being honest, most of my mindfulness practice happens when someone’s saying something that makes me want to roll my eyes… or scream and expletive. &#$*@#

The truth is, mindfulness isn’t about escaping chaos ... it’s about staying steady inside it. And nothing tests that skill quite like being around other humans, especially the ones we love most.

My favorite kind of “not-normal” family

My family isn’t exactly traditional. When I’m lucky, I get to spend holidays with my kids, their siblings (half, step, and chosen), a few bonus kids, their parents, current partners, and yes ... sometimes even their exes. It’s a big, beautifully tangled web of people who care about each other in their own unique ways.

To some, that might sound… not normal.

To me, it’s my favorite kind of normal — one that pushes me to stretch my capacity for compassion, flexibility, and (you guessed it) mindfulness.

When you’ve got that many personalities — and a full spectrum of political, spiritual, and lifestyle beliefs — the potential for friction is real.

But so is the opportunity for growth.

Over the years, I’ve learned that staying grounded in those moments isn’t about avoiding disagreement. It’s about choosing how I show up in it.

Responding instead of reacting

When I first started exploring mindfulness, I thought it meant I’d eventually become this endlessly calm, zen version of myself. (Spoiler alert: I haven’t.)

Instead, I’ve learned that mindfulness is really about noticing what’s happening — both inside and outside of me — before I let old habits take the wheel. It’s the micro-second between stimulus and response.

So when someone says something that lights up all my inner alarms, instead of jumping into debate mode or shutting down, I try to pause.

Just for a beat - a breath.

Long enough to notice, unclench my jaw, and ask myself, “What’s really needed here — a reaction, or a response?”

That moment of awareness — even if it’s imperfect and fleeting — changes everything.

Everyday mindfulness tools for real-life humans

Mindfulness doesn’t have to look like meditation cushions and incense. It can happen in tiny, practical ways throughout your day — especially when you’re surrounded by people who test your patience.

Here are a few of my go-tos:

• The Bathroom Reset: Step away for a minute. Breathe. Wash your hands slowly. Feel the water. It’s a full sensory reboot.

• Anchor to your body: Notice your feet on the floor or your hand wrapped around your mug. Your body is always in the present, even when your mind isn’t.

• Get curious instead of combative: Try “That’s interesting — tell me more about what makes you feel that way.” (It’s amazing how disarming curiosity can be.)

• Name what you feel: “That’s frustration.” Not “I’m failing at being calm.” Naming emotion helps release it.

• Step outside: Literally. Breathe fresh air. Look up. The world is bigger than this one conversation. - a walk with your cousins perhaps ;)

None of these are magic fixes. but each one helps bring you back to yourself.

The real goal

Here’s the thing: mindfulness isn’t about never getting activated. It’s about recovering faster and choosing differently next time.

It’s remembering that calm isn’t the absence of chaos...it’s the ability to stay connected to yourself in the middle of it.

That’s what I try to practice at every family gathering, and honestly, every day. Because when I can stay curious instead of defensive, present instead of performative, I open the door to genuine connection, and that’s where the good stuff lives.

Especially around the holidays, when everyone’s craving warmth, love, and belonging, a little mindfulness goes a long way.

Want to go deeper?

If you’re craving more ways to stay grounded when life (and people) get loud, join me for my workshop, Resilience in a Bat Sh*t Crazy World.

It’s a crash course in navigating chaos with calm, humor, and heart ... no meditation cushion required.

You’ll walk away with practical tools to help you respond (not react) and stay aligned with your values, even when the world feels off its rocker.

👉 MORE INFO